Emotions are Meant to be Felt

Today is another advice day!

So recently I have been really stressed, what with midterms and studying and papers to do. But among other things, I’ve been in a mood. That mood, is not really a good thing. I’ve been mad, I’ve been sad, I’ve been happy, I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster to put it simply. Now, this is me being human, we all have to be able to express ourselves and give in to emotion every once in a while, but that doesn’t mean that they have to rule us and our lives. 

Many of you are probably thinking: “here she goes again, talking about herself. What about us?” And my answer is simple: bare with me, I have a point. A long way of getting to it but a point nonetheless.

Someone asked me not long ago this question, “what do you do when there has been too much going on? You’re stressed, or you’re mad. What is the appropriate reaction and what should I do?”

At first I didn’t know how to respond, but slowly I’m getting there.

When life gets you down no matter what the cause is, you know what to do? You think about the good and the positive. I know I’ve said this a lot recently, but I really do mean it. When you focus on the bad and let the negative energy in your life run you it ruins what could be a wonderful thing. When you let the negative soak in, it acts like a poison. This “poison” drains the life right out of you. The things you enjoy become less fun, the things people love about you are less prominent as you sink deeper into the darkness. So, the real question is, why are you letting it get to you  so badly?

Think of it this way: was it something you could control? Was it your doing?

Sometimes it is ok to live in the moment and let yourself feel pain, and sorrow and anger. But dwelling on something, let alone the past and holding a grudge for whatever reason, does no one any good. It only hurts you in the long run.

Instead of focusing on the bad, find a way to release your anger, your frustration, your pain. Whatever is bothering you shall soon pass. In truth there really is no appropriate response to anything because each individual is their own person and each person will have a different reaction to everything regardless of the good or bad in it. So to say “you should be happy” is an inaccurate statement. No one “should” do anything because each person is different. But you must understand that though the situation may “call for a certain reaction” it does not mean you have to respond that way.

Similarly, just because you react some way doesn’t mean it is wrong.

Rambling cut short, my true advice for this situation: find something that helps you express your feelings. As corny as that is, no one should ever pent up their emotions because it never does any good. Emotions are meant to be felt.

My father once told me when I was really stressed with work and school that I just needed to find my physical release. Everyone has one. At first I didn’t believe him because I’m not the type to get physical with anything…but one day I was so mad I couldn’t sit still. My normal methods of release were not helping me and I couldn’t even stay in my house without fear of exploding at my family. So I grabbed my bike and rode through town as long and as far and as fast as I could. Eventually I found that my anger was gone, I was happy again because my focus was on something else and I was enjoying it. I remember at one time when I was younger I was so stressed and upset that I decided to write. And I wrote poetry of all things. That was my release when I felt I could not tell people how I was feeling.

My point is, find a way to express yourself and let go of your emotions without the risk of harming yourself or others. Whether that means you write, you run, you draw, you read, or you just simply talk about it, Find something. You’ll feel so much better. And sometimes it may take more than one type of release tactic to get the job done.

Don’t ever fear your emotions. You are human. You were meant to feel. Just remember, someone or something is always there to help you through it. And though it seems like that thing that is bothering you is so horrible it gets you riled up, remember that it too shall pass and you will move on to bigger and better things.

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