2015 Plan

So this year I intend to actually hold myself to a few things…

I know everyone every new year tries to make a plan to follow, and then they fail it or they just become lazy and forget. I want to change that. And I am determined to do something about it.

I know the typical plans are to get fit, eat healthier and exercise more, and although I intend to try to hold myself to this I want to also do a few other things for myself.

So here is my plan:

• I will try to work out at least 3 days a week (if things get in the way I will make accommodations) –more info and details on this part will come later
• eat healthier (watch my portion size) –details will come later
• try to keep to a schedule but still allow myself to have fun…
• try to keep organized and tidy (I’m already doing good at this)
• study and do all assignments (not like I don’t do this already…so maybe it should be revised to minimize procrastination)
• have fun, make time for myself and friends —do something for yourself every once in a while
• try to have a good day, everyday
• try to reduce stress
• complain less
• smile more

I know these sound like a lot to strive for, but I’m determined to do it. But I’ll need help sometimes.

I plan to try to write a post on this blog every couple of weeks on my progress. But I also want to continue this blog as an advice column, SO PLEASE, KEEP IN CONTACT AND MESSAGE ME ANY QUESTIONS YOU MAY HAVE OR ANY OPINIONS YOU MAY HAVE. I am always open and I will always try to help to the best of my abilities.

Find the Answer

Today I’m answering questions!

Let’s begin:

Heart:

What are you passionate about? 

Well, I have many passions. And when I find something I enjoy I put my whole heart and soul into it. Some examples are dance and reading. I have been dancing for 15 years, I love it! And reading is just something I enjoy to do. There are many things that I love to do, but those are just two of them.

The greatest tragedy is when…? 

For me, I’m not sure if I have faced great tragedy yet…but I believe when you lose a family member or a close friend, it hurts you deeply. I know you’ll get through it eventually, but that doesn’t make the pain any less.

I would really love to…?

My dream has always been to travel the world! I love other cultures and places, and people. To experience them would be amazing!

Soul:

The most meaningful thing I have ever done is…?

I guess that depends on what you define meaningful as? Meaningful to me, or to someone else? I’m not really sure. I guess I would have to say when I help tutor students or even when I helped out at Harvesters making food packages. I like to help people and make them happy when I can.

I feel a sense of destiny when…?

Honestly this is a question that has plagued me for a while now. While in college I’ve been pursuing a major I thought I enjoyed and thought I wanted to do…but now I am not so sure. I get really frustrated with it, a lot. Too much so to say I enjoy it. So I’m back to square one on finding out what I want to do with my life. I know what I like to do, so I think i’ll try t pursue that and see where it takes me. I enjoy the arts, and history.

I come alive when…?

I think the simplest way to answer this is: when I am with my friends and family. When I am surrounded by people that love me and I love them, and when I am doing something I enjoy.

Mind:

I like to think about…?

I enjoy thinking about the future and what possibilities could be ahead for me and my friends, but I also like to dwell on the past and reflect on the lessons we can learn from it.

I wonder why…?

I often wonder why people act the way they do. I wonder why society is the way it is. I wonder why things are the way they are, always. I have always been curious.

I really believe that…?

I believe that I can help people, and be the change the world needs to be better. I mean I’ve been told for a long time: change only takes one person. So why can’t I be that person. I also believe that there is always good in everyone. No matter how bad someone could be, there is still good in them, and I always try t find it…

Strength:

I am most capable of…?

I believe I am always capable of helping people. Regardless of the situation, I like to make people happy. if I can do that, then there is something good in their life and mine.

I have a talent for…?

I’m not really sure…I’ve been told I have a talent for tap dancing. And a talent for my compassion…I’m not exactly sure what that means, but I guess it’s a good thing?

I seem gifted in the following areas…?

I like to think I am an amateur in many things. I have talent I’m sure, but I have always been one to compare myself to others and think they are always better than me. i enjoy the idea of competition, I think it is fun…but I don’t really know what I am “gifted” in? My parents would probably say my stubbornness. I am very obstinate and refuse to budge on things, and insist that i am right, even when I know I am not…but that’s not a talent nor is it a gift…if anything it’s something I should try to change. It seems to get me in trouble a lot…

Grow Up

When you get to college a lot of things change: your living situation, the schedule, money and budget, friendships, classes and class work, locations. Everything is about change. But change isn’t a bad thing. Sometimes we need a little difference in our lives to spice it up.

I used to be one of those people who was uncomfortable with change and who actually really didn’t like it because I liked the way things were and didn’t see a need for things to be different. Many people think the transition from elementary school to middle school is tough. Different, yes, but not bad. The transition from middle school to high school is an even larger jump, what with all of the added freedoms. But the leap from high school to college life is tremendous. You learn to grow up real quick, you learn who your real friends are, and you gain a new system of support you never knew was there. The schooling is one of the largest transitions. All of a sudden you have to be an adult. you’re on your own, a limited budget and homework galore. But do you regret it?

I don’t.

It’s different but that doesn’t mean it’s bad.

I have a job, I have friends and I have family, I’m getting an education and I’m experiencing things I can while I can. And that’s what it’s all about.

As my family has always told me when I was being melodramatic, “Life is full of ups and downs, ride it like a wave. If you crash onto the tide, get back up and try again. You weren’t made to be perfect, no one was. Make mistakes and learn from them. Don’t just learn, Experience.You’ll find yourself when you’re ready, but no one can do that but you. All you can do is live life.”

The reason I’m bringing this up is because I was actually asked by a friend not long ago who is afraid of things to come in the future. She’s worried about what to do with her life.

I was too…in such a short time we are forced to start thinking about our future, what are we going to do with the rest of our lives…

My scale for what I wanted to do with a career is all over the place, none of them really aligning in any kind of category that makes sense, that I’m unsure anymore. At one time I wanted to be a veterinarian, then a doctor, then a mechanic, a dancer, a chef, an editor, a translator, a writer, an ambassador…this is currently where the list ends. But even that is in the air as to what I really want to do.

“I CAN’T SEE THE FUTURE! I DON’T HAVE A LOOKING GLASS OR A MAGICAL CRYSTAL BALL THAT TELLS ME WHAT I WANT TO KNOW, SO HOW WOULD I KNOW!?”

…This is what I used to shout all the time when it came to decisions on my schooling and career planning. I never understood why I was forced to grow up when just a year ago I was still playing on a playground swinging on a swing…

Now I understand a little bit. But my biggest piece of advice is the same as what my family once said to me. “You can do and be whatever you want to be. If you put your whole heart and soul into it, and you love what you do then as long as it makes you happy, it’s the right decision. i can’t tell you what you’ll be or who you’ll be, I can just support you. The decision is yours.”

I mean, I’m a freshman in college, I came here thinking I knew exactly what I wanted to do and what I wanted to be…then I started learning more and studying that topic more…and I’m back to square one. I don’t know again…

But that’s just the thing: I don’t have to know. I have a whole life to live, experiment and experience everything and anything I want. Go for it! Shoot for the stars and try and go farther if possible. The world is yours. All cliche but they get the point across.

Thanks to the tests we’ve done in Leadership, based on my strengths and talents I can follow this advice and really find where I belong in a career, or at least know what to look for as I explore:

Belief: spend time thinking about your calling, find a mentor that can provide information and experience, environments that fit your beliefs are best, research opportunities in helping professions that fit your beliefs or that aid others, environments that are people oriented or give service to others and reward personal growth will help this talent in particular, workpalces that respect your commitment to family and allow for a balance between work and family demands are the best option

Communication: have conversations with people who are currently in careers that interest you, go to career fairs, interview people (such as storytellers) to see how you can put your skills to use, explore opportunities to be a “spokesperson” for an organization, environments that allow for significant social interaction on a daily basis are best, cooperative, interactive, educational and political environments are best options

Empathy: talk to mentors about plans, interview people who have jobs that interest you, environments that provide regular social interaction and an opportunity to collaborate with others are best, emotional tone of work environment is important, seek work where emotions are valued and not repressed, interview teachers, counselors and clergy members and ask them about their talents

Input: collect as much info as you can about careers that interest you, go to the career center and take different career inventories, environments that give you the freedom to pursue threads of info and that focus on informed decision making are likely to bring out your best, might enjoy a job where you are on the cutting edge of knowledge and you can gather and share valuable pieces of relevant information, choose jobs that require you to be an expert collector and consumer of research (this environment will energize you), interview media specialists, librarians, archivists, writers, information technologists and others who work with large amounts of info to get a feel for the jobs

Intellection: read read read!, think about times in your life when you have felt best about your accomplishments and in a journal write about what you did to contribute to those accomplishments, a work environment where you have time and space to think and reflect before responding will bring out your best, select work in which you can share ideas and pose questions (avoid environments where you cannot challenge the status quo or where operating procedures are completely rigid), environments where you can interact with colleagues and have philosophical debates will be most satisfying, choose work that will challenge you intellectually

To do or Not to do, That is the Question

In a group some of the first things established are the ideas that formed the group, the beliefs that the group maintains and the ultimate goal(s) the group wishes to obtain. It is always important that the group, when it was established and through it’s ongoing years, maintain its ideals. Although things evolve as time moves on and sometimes things are subject to change that doesn’t mean that you should have to. When you join a group, be sure you are joining it for the right reasons. By right, I mean be sure that it means something to you. Don’t try to be the groupie, follow what you believe and go with what you think, don’t do it because others are doing it and don’t do it because others want you to do it. In the very popular saying parents like to say, “If your friends jump off a bridge, would you too?”

Be sure that, when you join a group you’re joining for the right reasons. Right reasons could include: it means something to you, you have a connection to it, the group doesn’t force itself onto you, it supports you just as much as you support it,

Ask yourself this: why did you join the group? What does the group mean to you? Do you support what the group does? Do you enjoy what you do in the group? Do you enjoy the company you are with when in the group? Does the group support you?

The most important thing for you as a participant in the group, but more so as your own self as an individual, is to be happy and to enjoy what you do. 

However if you ever have to call into question the actions and beliefs of the group, don’t let the fear of being labeled the “uncommitted” person stop you from realizing what is right and wrong in a situation and more importantly, always keep in mind your own beliefs and your own happiness, because it too matters.

As my family has always told me, “Do what makes you happy. Consider others, but don’t exclude yourself from the picture, because you too matter. Never forget where you come from and who you are, and don’t let fear run your life lest you lose your own happiness in the wake of someone else’s.”

Schizophrenic Octopus

My grandmother calls me a busy body, a person who is always on the go and always keeping busy. In truth, I like to be doing something…it doesn’t necessarily have to be productive, but I have to keep myself moving. I cannot sit still, even if I’m in a chair sitting I’m still in motion: twiddling my fingers, flexing and pointing my toes, kicking my legs back and forth, clicking a pen…

In high school I always knew I wanted to be doing something fun. I wanted to make friends and have a social life instead of sitting around at home doing nothing. My freshman year I was in two clubs, but halfway through the year one of them was cancelled. I had nothing to do again except that one day a week. Sophomore year I decided to branch out a little more. I joined the poetry club at my school and I joined YIG (Youth in Government), I also took a class in broadcast, so we dealt with a lot of outside activities with our cameras. This same year a friend and I also took over responsibilities of a club after some things ensued, so that kept me a little busy. Outside of school I had rejoined in my dance classes (freshman year I took a break to pursue other things but I missed it so much) and I was also a tutor at my elementary school two days a week for A+ program (I continued to tutor after my hours were completed).  My junior year I was in about the same amount of activities, except I had also joined my school’s debate team. That filled up a lot of my weekends! I was vice president of our school’s anime club as well.I also worked in my school’s library in the mornings. During this year I also decided to go for IB classes (history and English). Senior year was by far the busiest I had ever been. I continued my IB classes and continued in debate (this time on the varsity team). I tried to participate in as many activities as possible, I wanted to experience it all and have as much fun as possible while still being a studious student. I was always at the school, and if I wasn’t at the school I was at another activity, I was hardly home! In total I was in at least ten clubs and activities not including classes I took that did things outside of school (such as choir, debate, Steppers and dance). My life basically ran around a calendar and a planner.

I was a committed student to my work, but I was also committed to my activities. If I couldn’t make a meeting I contacted my advisor to tell them why and to get the information I had missed.

It always amazed people at the capacity I had to do all of these activities and still maintain my grades and have fun.

I will admit that at several times I had worried and stressed out, but many of the activities I was in made me happy and helped to relieve my stress.

I did everything I could to always stay on top of my activities and my work, so I could pull my own weight and still have fun, and if I missed something because of another activity or because school work was more important I always tried to keep up and make sure I was still pulling my weight so I could still call myself a member of the group.

In college my commitment hasn’t strayed. I am still as much a busy body as I was in high school but now I have watered down my schedule to make time for my school work, and also so I can acclimate myself to the college life before I end up drowning in work and activities (do you see a pattern?).

I started off just finding a few activities that sounded interesting and slowly I’ve either moved on to other things or I’ve just gained more. I am currently a member of ONE Drury, Think Green!, Anime club, Multi-culture club, Drury Allies, and on the occasion that I can make it to a practice they have I participate with the Ultimate Frisbee team.

I also maintain a job. But sometimes being an adult is difficult, you have to give up the things you love to make room for the responsibilities of the real world. It was a little upsetting at first, but I can still receive information from people and participate in projects and activities these groups do. So I’m not missing out completely. 

Responsibility, dependability, connections, interactions…all of this is important when being a member of a group. Not just for the fun things, but even in reality, use these things to work harder and to strive to do better.

I’m busy constantly but I do it because I want to enjoy life and enjoy the things I like. However this does not exclude my responsibilities to my school work or my job. I keep my priorities straight, but I always make sure that, because I am not the only one affected by my decisions, that whatever I decide when it relates and connects back to my teams, they know I’m still there for them when they need me, and likewise they are there for me when I need them.

Emotions are Meant to be Felt

Today is another advice day!

So recently I have been really stressed, what with midterms and studying and papers to do. But among other things, I’ve been in a mood. That mood, is not really a good thing. I’ve been mad, I’ve been sad, I’ve been happy, I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster to put it simply. Now, this is me being human, we all have to be able to express ourselves and give in to emotion every once in a while, but that doesn’t mean that they have to rule us and our lives. 

Many of you are probably thinking: “here she goes again, talking about herself. What about us?” And my answer is simple: bare with me, I have a point. A long way of getting to it but a point nonetheless.

Someone asked me not long ago this question, “what do you do when there has been too much going on? You’re stressed, or you’re mad. What is the appropriate reaction and what should I do?”

At first I didn’t know how to respond, but slowly I’m getting there.

When life gets you down no matter what the cause is, you know what to do? You think about the good and the positive. I know I’ve said this a lot recently, but I really do mean it. When you focus on the bad and let the negative energy in your life run you it ruins what could be a wonderful thing. When you let the negative soak in, it acts like a poison. This “poison” drains the life right out of you. The things you enjoy become less fun, the things people love about you are less prominent as you sink deeper into the darkness. So, the real question is, why are you letting it get to you  so badly?

Think of it this way: was it something you could control? Was it your doing?

Sometimes it is ok to live in the moment and let yourself feel pain, and sorrow and anger. But dwelling on something, let alone the past and holding a grudge for whatever reason, does no one any good. It only hurts you in the long run.

Instead of focusing on the bad, find a way to release your anger, your frustration, your pain. Whatever is bothering you shall soon pass. In truth there really is no appropriate response to anything because each individual is their own person and each person will have a different reaction to everything regardless of the good or bad in it. So to say “you should be happy” is an inaccurate statement. No one “should” do anything because each person is different. But you must understand that though the situation may “call for a certain reaction” it does not mean you have to respond that way.

Similarly, just because you react some way doesn’t mean it is wrong.

Rambling cut short, my true advice for this situation: find something that helps you express your feelings. As corny as that is, no one should ever pent up their emotions because it never does any good. Emotions are meant to be felt.

My father once told me when I was really stressed with work and school that I just needed to find my physical release. Everyone has one. At first I didn’t believe him because I’m not the type to get physical with anything…but one day I was so mad I couldn’t sit still. My normal methods of release were not helping me and I couldn’t even stay in my house without fear of exploding at my family. So I grabbed my bike and rode through town as long and as far and as fast as I could. Eventually I found that my anger was gone, I was happy again because my focus was on something else and I was enjoying it. I remember at one time when I was younger I was so stressed and upset that I decided to write. And I wrote poetry of all things. That was my release when I felt I could not tell people how I was feeling.

My point is, find a way to express yourself and let go of your emotions without the risk of harming yourself or others. Whether that means you write, you run, you draw, you read, or you just simply talk about it, Find something. You’ll feel so much better. And sometimes it may take more than one type of release tactic to get the job done.

Don’t ever fear your emotions. You are human. You were meant to feel. Just remember, someone or something is always there to help you through it. And though it seems like that thing that is bothering you is so horrible it gets you riled up, remember that it too shall pass and you will move on to bigger and better things.

Self Evaluation: Food For Thought

Have you ever sat down and thought about yourself? I don’t mean in a selfish way or manner, but in the way you would if you were trying to figure out things in your life. If you recall, in a previous post I mentioned advice on how to give yourself a confidence boost. In this post I want you to do the same thing, but instead of physical features focus on your talents, your strengths and what you enjoy to do. I want you to think of the way you apply these talents and strengths. Now think about something else. What are your dreams? What motivates you? What are your ambitions? Your goals in life? Think about how you can apply your likes, your talents and your strengths into these topics. Set yourself a target to reach for.

Here is an example to get yourself going:

The theme that describes me the most is probably communication because I never seem to stop talking. I’m not really sure which one of my five themes correlates with my talents the best? I suppose my most refined theme is my

After college I hope to have a job that correlates with my major. My biggest ambition is to have a job as an ambassador for the United Nations someday. I want to be the person who can make a difference in the world, not necessarily by being a clergy but maybe through the government.

I think that would make me feel the best after graduating college is the same thing that made me feel great after graduating high school. The fact that my hard work and dedication paid off. 

The talents that I believe will help me fulfill my dreams and pursue my ambitions is probably my communication and my beliefs. I believe this because I know what I feel and believe will always guide me through life. My morals are set, and if I disagree I am not afraid to speak up. However I also feel that this could get me into some trouble in my life. Sometimes I argue so passionately that I stray from where I originally wanted to be and the point I tried to make become mute.

As I continue through school I intend to work on my communication theme the most. I feel that I could learn to better construct arguments and speeches. Also, I believe that I could improve my listening skills as well.

When it comes to exploring things and learning, things that come easiest to me are probably history facts (excluding dates). I could spew fact after fact and opinion after opinion but the dates and times are what get me. In my own opinion, I am not that talented in just one sole category. For example, I used to believe I was great at Spanish because it came naturally to me…until I got into the mess that is known as conjugating. The same goes for math and science. I believed them to be easy and enjoyable until things became more complicated with more theories and theorems and equations. I find my flaws and troubles with every subject I have faced. I guess that’s just it. If I were perfect at everything, there would be no point to education and learning. I’d already know all.

Many of my teachers through the years have had their own opinions on me. I’m not sure what the collective opinion on me is from my teachers throughout the years, but if I were to guess, it would range anywhere from, “She likes to talk” to “what an interesting perspective, but quit arguing with me” or even, “you ask too many questions.” Honestly I don’t know what all of my teachers would say about me now that I am a college student.

When it comes to learning, I am always open to hearing new things. Especially personal stories. As a kid, well actually even now, I constantly ask questions to my family members about their lives. What was it like? It was a different time that I live, and it has always fascinated me to know other people’s personal experiences and life stories.

My most fulfilling experiences in life? Good question. I guess one would be graduating from high school. I felt that was a huge milestone in my life. But because I am still young and still living and learning it is quite difficult to decide on a day and time that was most fulfilling to me when I still have so much to live for and experience.

I remember a time when I wanted to be so many things at once. If you look at the “chart” of career paths I chose to try when I was a kid it jumps everywhere. I have wanted to be a vet, a mechanic, a teacher, a dancer, an artist, a chef, a writer, an editor, a translator, and now an ambassador for the United Nations.

I believe at one time the occupation that would utilize my themes the best would be a writer or even an ambassador.

I believe each occupation requires a lot of time and effort, and can take its tole on anyone. But the commitment is up to the individual. This is where beliefs come into play. What do you value more? Your family and friends? Money? Or would you rather find a balance between them, where you can do the things you love and work with the people you love and still have luxuries in your life?

Going back to the original point. By focusing on your talents and strengths you can set goals based upon them and then make the best out of your situation and life itself. Do what you love, do what you enjoy, find time for family and friends, make the most out of what you have and what you get. Take advantage of the things in front of you. Who knows, one day it might be the exact thing you need in your life?

Lessons Learned

I know I’m probably too young to give you advice but I’ve been told I am actually pretty good at it. Giving advice is sometimes really nerve racking to me, but delivering advice and helping people with their problems makes me happy. It brings me joy to know that I am aiding someone with their issues hoping to make things better. It makes me wonder why I don’t want to be a psychologist? 

Even if I have never had the experience before, I give my advice to the best of my ability based on what my heart and gut tell me. I also draw on the wisdom I have learned from my family. In doing this, I only hope that my brain and the rest of my body follows. This is how I live my life. 

Now that I am done talking about myself, let’s move on to the question for the day: The Issue of Trust

What do you do when you know something you’ve been trusted with by a friend but you feel you can’t keep the secret for whatever reason? Do you tell someone else but risk your friend’s trust or do you keep it to yourself even if it hurts you? Or what do you do if you’ve already broken that trust because you thought it was going to help? Do you tell your friend or do you keep this information to yourself until they find out from another source?

In my honest opinion, do what you think is right. I believe in always telling the truth, I hate being lied to, even worse, I hate when information is kept from me. The question I believe you need to ask yourself is: is this information your friend trusted you with harming them? Are they harming others? Are they harming property? Is someone/something harming them? -this is a lesson I learned from my family growing up. I have no siblings, but I have several cousins. When we’d all tattle on one another, it was ridiculous. So my family always asked these questions, and if the answer to them was no, then the tattle was meaningless and accomplished nothing.

The point is, if you can ask these questions to yourself, and the answers are negative (no) then you truly do not need to tell anyone. Your friend trusted you with this information, don’t break their trust simply because you can’t keep quiet.

On the other hand, if you answer yes then I think the real thing to think about is, what is stopping you from telling someone you trust to make a difference? You could help them with the problem and, even if they had begged you to not tell anyone and you did, you know that in the long run, the friend will look past their anger and realize you did the right thing. You saved them in some way or another.

The question was also asked: I already told someone, now what?

Guilt is a powerful thing. But so is the truth. Even if you know you’ve done wrong, saying sorry and being truthful from the get go reduces the pain in the long run. As my family used to tell me as a little kid, “Better to face the truth than to hide it, because when the truth finally does come out, and you aren’t the one who told it, things will only be worse.”

Spiderwebs

Last week our university celebrated its one hundred and forty-first birthday. During this celebration, we had a guest speaker, an alumni. He is a very successful man, who though he has had challenges to face, as we all do, he has overcome them and become the man he is today because of them. In his speech, he thanked Drury for that experience and the chance it gave him to live (I know I’m a dramatist). He told us that when he went on to a higher education after Drury, there was a “grading scale” of A’s to D’s. Sitting in his classes, the students introducing themselves, he “judged” each person believing them to be a set grade example, but when he compared himself to the others, he realized he was different. He had gone to a liberal arts school. What did this mean for his education and for him as a person? He said that there were many classes he had here at Drury that he saw as pointless or useless, like his art class where he painted pictures of sunsets. He said he had only seen painting as a useful tool when it came to decorating, designing and modeling your house.To him it was just a class to take as a pre-requisite and the painting was just a bunch of colors. Although his art was good, his professor had pointed out some flaws. He didn’t understand until someone told him how much they liked his artwork, what it meant to someone else.To someone else it was hope, it was sunshine, it was cheerful. He learned something from each of his teachers and each of his classes in a similar manner. Though the classes may not have been applicable to what he grew to become as a man, they taught him lessons on life: experience and perspective. He said it wasn’t just about learning, it was about living and loving what you do.

Now you’re probably asking yourself: What in the world does this have to do with anything, let alone me? The answer is simple: interaction is your friend. Some people have problems interacting with other people, whether it is because they fear the unknown of what someone will say or do, or they just don’t like people. Whatever their reasons, there really shouldn’t be a reason to fear anything. You can learn so much from the people around you. And who knows? You might make a new friend along the way.

At some point in your life you will connect with someone in some way. Whether that means you are a student/teacher, a family member, a friend, a love interest. It doesn’t matter. Once you meet someone you are forever bonded to them in one way or another. It’s like a spiderweb. Each lace is interconnected and each strand is attached to something more to keep it strong and stable.

You see, if he had not interacted with his professors, he would not have truly understood the perspective it takes to appreciate what someone else does, and what the simplest of things could mean for someone else. He would not have cared about the way his life was going or where he would end up in the world, because the time was not taken to interact with someone, to gain an understanding of something regardless of what that something is. A love for education, and the perseverance it took to exceed the “people grades” in his classes would not have mattered, unless someone had taken the time to appreciate and communicate the love for these things to him.

The point of this whole spiel is: reach out, extend the web further. You never know who you might impact in life.

Mind Over Matter

I know we always heard it when we were kids, the, “Think before you act” spiel. But Is it really that easy?

Earlier I had told you that one of my strongest points is my power of empathy. Though I’m not a master, I am still aware of things around me, more specifically I am more aware of the people around me and their feelings.

Now what does this have to do with being mindful? And how is this relevant to you? Well, for starters it works a little like this: when you are aware of someone else other than yourself you are being empathetic, more so you are being mindful. Though it’s easier said than done, just listening to someone and being aware of the way they feel is a powerful thing.

I know it’s easier said than done to be mindful of someone else than yourself, but it’s not impossible. I speak from experience on several accounts.

Think about it. How often do you listen to someone talk to you about their problems? I mean really listen. Are you being mindful of their feelings, or internally are you complaining to yourself, griping about what problems you have?

Here is some advice. Don’t bottle up your emotions, it always ends badly, either with an explosion of force verbally or physically or a complete breakdown mentally. This also applies to your friends. When they feel they can trust you as their confidant, listen with your full attention.

Another thing of advice: when you are being mindful, thinking about yourself isn’t a bad thing. In fact, keeping yourself in mind (pun was not intended) is a good thing, it benefits your health. And no, it doesn’t make you selfish. Thinking about yourself in a kind way, such as giving yourself compliments every once in a while instead of putting yourself down makes you feel better, giving you a boost of self confidence. 

Here is a trick to use when you feel down. Look at yourself in the mirror. What do you see? Make a list. What do you like about yourself? What do others like about you? What are things you do well? What are things you enjoy, that make you happy? Now to draw a counter to those thoughts, what are some things you could improve on, not bad things but things you know you could do better? How could you improve those things? Now you’re really being mindful. This exercise will help you feel better, and might also give you a leg up on improving yourself.

Keep in mind you are not perfect. No one in the world is perfect. Life is full of ups and downs, and the more you focus on the things you “can’t” change or do, the more negative the world seems. If instead you look on the brighter side of things and think, what was good today? Or what is something you can look forward to? Things like that, will make your day and your life seem brighter and you will have a better mindfulness to take on the world and life.

If you ever have problems that arise, don’t hesitate to talk to someone you trust about it. It makes all the difference.